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Have you ever wondered why relationships fail, why partners get tired of themselves, why a partner suddenly grows cold towards the other, etc. The elusion of the connection which once felt like it will endure forever is a common thing in relationships today. Could this be a problem of finding the right person at the wrong time?
So many things can indeed cause a relationship to fail. Of course, we cannot lay down all the points that can make relationships fail. At times, it just seems like there is no reason for the failure and it just crumbles. In this article, I wish to talk about “right person wrong time” as a cause of relationship failures. This will open your eyes to pay more attention to this area and overcome at least one more factor that can make your relationship fail.
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Who is the right person for me?
There is no straight-up answer for the question above, as that is completely relative to each person. What you consider right may not just be okay for me. Even if we have the same choices, there will be little tweaks that make us unique on our own part. No one has ever entered into a relationship with the wrong person. At least at the point of entering that relationship, it feels like the other is the perfect match.
Usually, we feel a connection between ourselves and the person we love. This feeling of connection differs from person to person. The intensity may also vary according to the length of association with such persons. When people say things like “I just wish I could meet the right person”, they are merely expressing their desire to meet someone with whom they will feel a strong connection. They are merely expressing their desire to be with someone they will feel happy and comfortable with.
The right person is not one with all the material goods the world can offer or one who flatters you to get your attention. The right person goes beyond that. Although there is no perfect person, there can be someone your heart accepts and welcomes with ease. We can relate this with the idea of ‘soul mate’, not in the sense of someone you cannot do without as so many people conceive, but in the sense of someone who feels connected to you as much as you feel connected to them.
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What it means to meet the right person at the wrong time
Meeting the right person is not enough to guarantee a smooth flow in the relationship. What if you have met this person at the wrong time? Several scenarios explain this point of meeting the right partner at the wrong time. Exploring some of these scenarios can help to make the point clearer.
#1 Too young to focus:
When you meet your desired partner at a young age, the relationship may not endure to the point of adulthood because of the juvenile tendencies that creep in. Premature relationships usually puff up like balloons only to get flat after a while. This is natural because the individuals involved have not received the emotional and social stability required to push on the relationship. Even if they are meant for each other, they may put up acts that will be a dent to their relationship.
This is one the reasons why courtship/dating amongst young people does not usually lead to marriage. Today, a young man or woman is in a relationship and tomorrow he is out. It continues often and on because there is no focus on the things that matter in a relationship. Young people have to organize the tumult in their lives(as a result of youth) before they can talk meaningfully about getting into relationships.
#2 Already married or in a relationship
While in a relationship, it is possible to meet someone else whom you consider the “right one.” This is absolutely wrong timing because you are either married already or in a relationship. This is the reason why some persons cheat in their relationships. The new development will lead them into a confused state and they may eventually make a mistake.
In this situation, you should ask yourself basic questions that will help you determine what is spurring your love for this other person. Remind yourself of the connection you have had with your partner and focus less on the new feelings that are trying to envelop you. The thing is, if we continue to follow up the feeling and connection we have with each new person we encounter, it will never end. You will just discover that you will keep adding so many people to the “right person” list.
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#3 We are meant for ourselves but either is too busy for the other
It is possible to meet the right person at the point where you are trying to focus on some aspect of life. It could be studies, career, business, money, spirituality etc. Perhaps you have taken prior decisions not to get involved in any kind of relationship during the duration of such activities. This makes it a “right person, wrong time” situation. The connection is there but you find yourself unable to fan into a full relationship.
On the other hand, you can meet the right person at the point where he or she is focused on something that is of great importance to them. At such moments, most of their efforts and attention is focused on the projects they have at hand. This makes all efforts to spring a relationship futile.
Conclusion
I wish to reiterate that this article does not claim that the “right person wrong time” situation is responsible for all relationship failures. However, this article reminds all that meeting the right partner at the wrong time can be a cause of relationship failures. Bearing this in mind, it will help us to be more sensitive when taking steps towards building up a relationship.
The number of breakups each year has become alarming. The harshness of divorce notes and breakup encounters make you wonder if these people were never in love in the first place. There is a need for caution while plunging into relationships. As beings of emotion, we are bound to encounter people who love us and those we love. It is a nice thing to take wise steps towards action.
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